XXII – Therapeutic post-game report

It is clearly written in Codex: Orks that “orks never lose”, and in fluff terms it is very correct as they have such a violence loving nature and reproduce with spores from their wounds. Once you get Orks on your lot, you ain’t getting rid of them. But today I believe that these three words only reflect the Ork warfare on a bigger scale than on a battle for battle basis. Today I played the new Tau for the first time…

In my half year, or so, of writing this blog I have realised that there are posts that are narrative, there are posts that are informative, there are posts that are reflecting, and today I face a new type of post – the therapeutic; formed as an Ork vs Tau battle report of the game! 🙂


Several discussion session have now been booked with Dr. Sweets.

Tonight’s schedule saw my first contact with the new Tau codex on the gaming table. As per usual, when I try something new I stick to something familiar to analyse the new situation properly, so I played Orks.

My list was:


Big Mek with a Shock Attack Gun, a cybork body and a bosspole

28 sluggaboyz with a big choppa toting nob, with a bosspole
28 sluggaboyz with a big choppa toting nob, with a bosspole
30 shootaboyz with a big choppa toting nob with a bosspole
24 gretchin with 2 runtherders

8 Lootaboyz
A dakkajet
8 Kommandos with 2 burnas, led by Snikrot

Yes, I do know that I would have been better off with a faster element, like a battlewagon or, even better, two. I also know that Snikrot is bad. But I saw the opportunity for his Red Skull Kommandos to catch a backfield target with their burnas, hopefully stealing some of the attention. Also I wanted to know how many boyz dem fish’ead can kill.

I faced something like:

An ethereal

8 Fire Warriors
12 Fire Warriors
Two 15-ish units of Outflanking Kroot
Two 5 sized Pathfinder teams
6 Stealth suits

3 Sniper drones with a spotter
A shooty suit of some sort

The mission was Big guns never tire with a Hammer and anvil deployment, and the terrain set up like this:


I got to place 2 objectives where as my buddy placed 1. Knowing Tau want to stay put and shoot, and that I wanted forward into combat, I placed the objectives mid field. The Tau player placed the second objective at the edge if his deployment zone. The deployment was a gunline, versus a tide of greenskins and the Tau was looking at the first turn with Night Fighting in play. I could not seize the initiative.



The Orkz are set up and ready for Waaagh!!

While the opposition are checking if enough ammo is at hand.

First Tau turn saw little movement. One pathfinder team moved slightly forward for range. Then in the shooting phase came the first hit. Lootas removed in spite of being in decent cover, as a combination of  marker lights and other. (I should have placed a terrain piece for them to hide in a bit more to the back, as they have more range than most Tau guns.) Some wounds were caused on the boyz.

In my first turn I run forward as fast as I can. The Shock attack gun misses and shootaboyz takes a few wounds off the closer path finders. Not too bad so far, but the loss of the Lootas hurt a bit. Slugga mobs run in the shooting phase.

Tau second turn, no movement really. Both Kroot units enter beside my Shokk Attack Gun and the Grotz. The stealth suits should arrive by deep strike but are forgotten – next turn they arrive without rolling. Then in the shooting phase a handful of grotz and my whole shoota boy unit is removed – well to are left, but they fail their morale test in spite of the boss pole.  A few wounds are also taken off the slugga boy units.


Ork second turn, neither the outflanking Kommandos nor the Dakkajet enter. O-oh. Dey wur s’posed to be mah distraksjun eliment! Well the boyz run forward, the SAG misses completely. (Or fails to wound the single model it hits.) I decide to Waaagh!, as it is looking pretty grim and a slight boost now might help me out, especially if I get into combat. So my leftmost unit run forward even more, and my rightmost unit attempt a charge, in spite of having heard how devastating Tau Overwatch fire can be. Well, first the boys were some four or five inches (maybe six) away from the Tau, and then, a little pew-pew later, they were around eleven inches away. But I roll for charge, and get 6-6-6. 😀 Hur-hur. Did not even need the Waaagh!! So they get into combat and slays the small unit they reach.



Dis iz how da Boyz charge!

At this point I realised that as the Tau all have defensive grenades, and I still lose the extra attack, and they still all can Overwatch it is more often better to do declare multiple charges. Well that is beside the point anyways.

The Tau third turn saw the Stealth suits arrive. The Orks that assaulted previously were shot away. The Orks that were about to assault were shot away (well two were left and one them was mostly a pair of smoking boots). Grotz took their saves like terminators, but only two remained alive with the Big Mek.


Now in my third it looked really grim. Not much to do with only four models of Troops left… At least the Dakkajet and the Kommandos came on the board. So as a final blow they all aimed at the Ethereals unit. The flamers managed to cause a few casualties, after taking Interceptor fire from the Riptide. Then the SAG missed the Tau, but hit the kommandos with burnas. The Dakkajet did a few more, but it was not enough.



Finally the Tau sweeped up the rest of the boyz.

DSCF2966End game.

Thus went my first game against the Tau, and my second game against the Tau overall. In my defence the last game went a lot better. 😀 It was a fun game, though. And I sometimes tend to lose faith in my chances and let those thoughts pour out – sometimes I still might do well in the end. Best of all I learned much about Tau, which is why I played in first hand, and I learned about this particular Tau army. I have realised that I was spot on with my first plans to take something like the usual two big mobs supported by a battlewagon mob. Unfortunately the need for more battlewagons and lootas is more clear than ever.

This is Iron Man, as seen in Pacific Rim. Unfortunately I did not bring a good counter (Kaiju-warboss?).

It was fun as always to see a surprise unit on the battlefield. This time it was the Riptide Battlesuit. I didn’t quite “rip me a new one”, nor did it turn the green tide, but with my sloppy list I had no reasonable counter for it. Thumbs up for Mr. Sawtooth for picking a new awesome paint scheme and executing it well. I must confess I did look at Eldar and Tau for an alternative army to start before I chose Dark Angels, and this is more or less the exact same colour scheme I would have used.


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